Reimagining Fate
by Leniad Kurrem
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke watches all hope end during the Fourth Shinobi World War. Unwilling to accept events as they've occurred, he executes a last ditch plan to not only stop Obito from winning, but to fix the world and make it as it should be. *sigh* Now, he's got to deal with the fan girls and the dobe all over again. (FIRST STORY PUBLISHED)
1. Prologue

(Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Oh well)

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Prologue

Naruto was dead. It shouldn't have been possible. As relentlessly annoying as he was, as delusional about his own strength as he was, a world without Uzumaki Naruto blathering on about "Ramen" this or "Hokage" that was a violation of the natural order. Nevertheless, Uchiha Sasuke knew without a shadow of a doubt that what was left of the corpse in front of him was all that remained of the very same orange clad dobe that had insisted on calling him "friend". Even if Obito hadn't subsequently used a rather brutal technique to rip what was left of the kyuubi's chakra out of it's host, hastening his demise, there was no way the demon could have healed that much damage.

It was another example of life's unfairness. Of how broken the world truly was to let scum like Obito continue to have his way with the world. Just when Sasuke thought there was nothing more that could be taken from him, the world would twist just enough to prove him wrong again. First his clan, then Itachi, now this. With time, the last born Uchiha could draw some conclusions from this, and figure out where to go from here. Current circumstances pretty much guaranteed that he wouldn't get it.

"What now? What do we do now?" The pink haired kunoichi of team 7 stared directly into Sasuke's sharingan eyes. Normally this was not a brilliant idea, but he didn't see the normal brilliance behind Sakura's eyes. She was searching for something, as if staring as hard as she could at him would yield some hidden nugget of knowledge. Something, anything, that could make the situation different. There was a time when Sasuke would feel nothing but annoyance with Sakura for staring at him. But the attraction to the idea of Sasuke that Sakura had held onto was nowhere evident. It was equally a relief, and sign of something else that was gone. Sasuke found himself unreasonably angry at this.

"Why are you asking me?" Sasuke wanted nothing to do with any of this. All he wanted was his revenge. Revent against Obito for his part in the slaughter of the Uchiha clan, revenge against Konoha for allowing it to happen, and against the entire shinobi world for all it had taken from him.

"Because if Naruto were here, he'd trust you to figure this out. Regardless of anyone else's opinion, or how troublesome you've made our lives, you brooding bastard." Sasuke turned to see Nara Shikamaru, puffing on a cigarette and staring off in the general direction of Obito and the Juubi. "As much as I hate to admit it, without Naruto or Bee, you're the best shot we've got at surviving this." The Nara genius' choice of words wasn't lost on Sasuke. Shikamaru had given up on any hope of victory, a sentiment that was rapidly spreading like a cancer through the Alliance forces.

"Naruto was here, and look where that got us." Sasuke snapped back. "If he'd stayed away like he was supposed to, Obito wouldn't have the Juubi right now." Technically speaking, it was true. But Shikamaru wasn't ready to let that little logical fallacy slide.

"If he hadn't arrived when he did, we'd all be dead right now and you know it. Or do you think you could have stopped the Edo Tensei yourself? Or perhaps defeated an unkillable version of Madara all on your own? Sensed the difference between a Zetsu clone and a member of the Alliance? Face it, Sasuke, we needed him. Still do, actually, but now we have to settle for you."

"Tch…" he turned from Shikamaru, not willing to admit the man was correct. To do so would be to admit to being lesser than Naruto in a way, and that was unacceptable.

His gaze turned to Obito, standing a good distance away with an arrogant grin on his face. The man could have returned to finish them at any time, but with the death of the Alliance's hero, he seemed content to let them fall into despair first. Asshole. Standing there like his victory was preordained reminded him of Hyuuga Neji, in a way. Before Naruto had scraped together that winning strategy in the chuunin exams, he'd been under the impression that everything was dictated by fate. Not only had the dobe disabused him of that notion in a rather violent manner, but in that single act he'd set in motion a chain of events that had resulted in the divide between the branch and main families being reduced to little more than a formality. Even still, perhaps Neji had a point. Perhaps fate was an immovable object, and that changes to it were merely an illusion allowed to persist for a small time until it was violently removed. Obito finally spoke to the amassed army before him.

"Do you finally understand? Can you finally see that there is nothing you can do to stop my plans? Everything you've tried, I've had an answer for. Everything you will try, I can negate. Only when you have lived as I have, and can understand the world as I do, could you possibly hope to comprehend how hopeless things are for you. Too bad for you, the world as you know it is ending soon. Nobody will ever have to worry about such things again. No more villains imposing their will over the weak, no more heroes dying to maintain the status quo. There will finally be peace, and only peace." Obito's voice carried over the crowd, none willing to attack him at the moment.

Sasuke didn't respond, allowing the words to linger in his skull. Maybe it wasn't fate that led to this, but rather the persistence of a superior strategy over a long time by those hell bent on shaping things to their whims. And every strategy had a flaw, if you had the eyes to see it. "I have an idea."

Those four words had a bigger impact than he could have expected. If it weren't for his Sharingan, Sasuke might not have detected the subtle shifts in expression and stance in those within earshot. Shikamaru finished his cigarette, and dropped the butt to the ground before crushing it under his heel.

"What do you need?"

Sasuke's eyes remained focused on Obito, details of a desperate plan falling into place. "Buy me a little time."

Shika's left eyebrow went up. "You don't ask for much, do you?"

"Hn." Sasuke didn't have time to explain. If this was to work, he needed the Alliance to play its part. "About as much as Naruto would have."

"I believed in Naruto-kun, and he believed in you." Sasuke didn't have to turn to identify that voice. Hyuuga Hinata continued, "So to honor his memory, I'll believe in you too." As she spoke, her voice rose to carry to more people. A resolve in her voice that was infectious. "An illusion of peace is no peace at all. I would rather die and see Naruto again than fall victim to the whims of a madman." At this point Hinata was speaking less to Sasuke and more to the Army. "Who's with me?" Murmurs in the crowd turned to shouts of determination.

"So damn troublesome. Maybe when I die I can finally rest." Shikamaru rubbed at an itch on the back of his neck. "Alright Sasuke, we'll give you the time you need. I just hope it isn't much." Shikamaru and Hinata turned walk towards the front line, with Hinata giving a rousing speech that Sasuke couldn't be bothered to listen to. Only Sakura lingered for a moment, murmuring a quiet thanks to an unresponsive Sasuke before joining the other two Konoha nin.

Shouts of defiance roared through the army one last time, and what started as only a few slowly moving towards Obito quickly turned into a charge. Sasuke's cloak whipped about while Shinobi and Kunoichi raced past him. Sasuke himself stood still, eyes never straying from Obito, as if waiting to see what the response would be.

"Oh, you still don't get it yet? Well, I guess I can play with you for a little bit longer," and Obito proceeded to do exactly that. With the power of the Juubi at his disposal, he casually tossed jutsu of every element to slaughter ninja by the hundreds. Sasuke watched dispassionately as countless people were slaughtered, ignoring the pleas and cries for help of those being crushed, drowned, burned alive, or cut to pieces in front of eyes that would never be able to forget the scene playing out in front of him. It threatened to make him ill, but he forced himself to endure the sight of so much death, looking for the opening he needed. True to his word, Obito used a technique to create an elevated platform, raising him above the army attacking him for a moment. "Enough! I'd say you should be admired for your tenacity, but your unwillingness to accept the truth makes me sick." Obito put his hands together for a hand seal, only to abandon the jutsu in order to dodge a flurry of shuriken sent at him. "What now?"

There was the poof of smoke, and one of the shuriken changed to reveal Uchiha Sasuke, eyes blazing red, as he began a relentless taijutsu assault on Obito.

"Oh come on Sasuke, do you really think you can kill me where everyone else has failed?" Sasuke didn't reply, instead choosing to let his sword speak for him with a rising slash meant to take his head off. Obito backflipped out of the way. "Or is it that you'd rather die like the rest instead of live eternally in a dream? I can oblige you if that's the case. After all," Obito put his hands together in a seal sasuke found familiar, "we're family! Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" The area glowed red with the immense fireball that razed the surface of the platform Obito had created. Hellish heat melted the rock in places, and all the moisture in the air fled. Obito held his breath so as not to breathe in the superheated air, and his eyes darted about. That shouldn't have been enough to kill Sasuke, and he needed to be ready for the counterattack. "Where did you go?"

The moments ticked by. The air cooled enough to be breathable again, if only just, and Obito let himself inhale slowly, intently scanning the red glowing debris and letting his finely honed instinct guide where Sasuke might come from. The seconds turned into a solid minute, but the counterattack never came. Obito played the events of the fight through his mind. There was no way Sasuke should have died to that. Obito prided himself on never under- or overestimating his opponents. As if to confirm that, there was no charred corpse where the fireball had been, and no indication that Sasuke was there at all. It was as if he'd never been there in the first place.

Obito flexed his chakra, but nothing changed. That meant he wasn't in a genjutsu, which only left… He realized with a start that the ambient red glow he was seeing wasn't being caused entirely by the glowing embers below him, and turned to look at the moon. "NO!"

Out in the field, still standing in his original position, but staring at the moon this time, was Sasuke, holding a hand seal and bringing every iota of his chakra to bear on his next technique. "Did you really think that dobe was the only one who could use that Jutsu?" Sasuke didn't speak much louder than normal, but he didn't have to for his voice to carry to Obito's ears.

"NOOOOO!" Obito pumped as much chakra as he could into the shunshin meant to carry him to the one trying to usurp his plans.

"Too slow." Sasuke felt the technique complete with the last remnants of his chakra, and the world slowed to a halt around him as he cried out its name, with his eye reflected from the moon:

"MUGEN IZANAGI!"

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A/N Hello! Welcome to my first fic! Well, maybe it's my first? It's definitely the first that is seeing light outside of my google drive account. In true Naruto fashion, I will introduce myself as team 7 did. I am Leniad Kurrem. I enjoy reading all kinds of stuff, gaming, and being a programmer by trade. I dislike ginger ale, and people who don't think for themselves. I have many dreams, but the relevant ones are that people enjoy themselves reading my works, and that certain authors I follow deem me worthy of following in return.

Full Disclosure: I'm using Nanowrimo as an excuse to force myself to write, so most, if not all, of what you see here will be first drafts for the time being. That having been said, I hope you enjoy Reimagining Fate!


	2. Chapter 1 - Beginning Again

_(Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I'm just playing in Kishimoto's sandbox.)_

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The way Sasuke saw things, either he was dead and in hell, or the technique had left him deaf, blind, and in excruciating pain. As he took stock of the situation, he noticed that his inner ear was convinced he was moving, even though none of his other senses could provide a point of reference to confirm the fact. Given that this discrepancy wasn't causing his stomach to rebel, Sasuke put 'Not prone to motion sickness' as the very first item in the positive column for today. Another plus: the pain was starting to fade. Other than that, he couldn't divine any other information about… wherever this was. 'If this is the afterlife, I'm gonna go insane with boredom.'

Almost as if in response to his thoughts, Sasuke was assailed with a high pitched keening sound. 'Oh goody, I can hear. Wait, why do I feel like i know that sound?' Sasuke's sense of balance informed him that he was rapidly decelerating, and he began to feel an odd pressure on his face. 'What the…' The high pitched noise began to resolve into multiple similar wails. Sasuke's eyes widened as he recognized the noise. 'Oh hell, i better still be dressed.' He'd finally identified the sound as the screaming of fangirls. It was a curse, being plagued by kunoichi who were varying degrees of useless. Although as the sounds became clearer, he noted that the screams were filled not with excitement, but with anger. For a very brief moment, he wondered why. Then his sight returned all at once and he very much regretted his curiosity.

Looking back into his eyes were a pair of bright blue eyes. The two things that horrified him were how close those eyes were, explaining the pressure sensation on the front of his face, and the fact that he knew who those eyes belonged to. As if to put a cherry on this whole mess, his inner ear abruptly decided that he wasn't moving anymore, and his stomach decided to suddenly and violently correct his mistaken impressions about being immune to motion sickness. He recoiled as hard as he could from Naruto and heaved violently to the side, grateful that his stomach was apparently empty. 'Of all the times to come back to…' He continued coughing and spitting, trying to clear the taste of Naruto's lips from his own. 'I wish i didn't know he tasted like ramen… bleh.'

Sasuke regained his composure in time to see his many fangirls brutally beat down the dobe. 'At least the technique worked.' When making his plan, Sasuke had been unsure how far back the technique would send him, and had assumed he'd have to find some nonchalant way to discover the date without looking like a moron. It almost seemed like the Kami had played a prank on him. had sent him back to a point where he'd immediately know when and where he was, in his younger body even, by sending him to one of the more traumatic moments he'd lived through as a rookie.

Now that he knew when and where he was, his mind began to race. He ignored the commotion between the dobe and the kunoichi and the subsequent entry of Iruka who scolded everyone and proceeded to blather on about responsibility. 'If I'm this far back, changing things should be child's play.' He spared a glance at the reactions of Sakura and Naruto as team seven was announced again. 'Starting with these two.' Sasuke allowed himself a tiny smirk, hidden behind his hands. Obito thought he could manipulate events, did he? By the time Sasuke was done, he was going to make 'Tobi' look like a rank amateur.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Sasuke walked down the hallway of the academy, following his footsteps from last time around. If things were still following the chain events from the first time around, his first chance to change things would be coming in 3… 2…

"Hey, Naruto."

He had to hold in the laughter as his friend's ambush from the shadows turned into an awkward faceplant. 'I didn't even sense him there. How the hell did he hide so well wearing orange?'

"Dammit! How'd you know i was there, teme?" The frustration on Naruto's face was matched by the tension he showed in the fighting stance he dropped into.

"I didn't. Not exactly. But that's an explanation for another time. Can i ask why you were planning on impersonating me?"

"Huh?" Whatever Naruto had been expecting from this ambush, this hadn't been it. "How the hell did you know what i was planning? Can you see the future?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at how close to the truth that guess actually was, but saw a way out of the conversational corner he'd been steered toward. "No. First, you were trying to ambush me for the quickest possible fight. Second, you've got rope sticking out of your tool pouch, which means you didn't want me leaving afterward. Finally, Henge no Jutsu is one of the things you're actually good at. So, what do you need to be me to accomplish?"

Naruto was still frustrated, but his will to fight seemed to be leaving, given how Sasuke was bothering to talk to him. When all else failed, maybe the truth would work. He let out a sigh and rubbed at the back of his neck. "I just want to know why Sakura treats me the way she does, but worships the ground you walk on. I figured if I was you, I could get the info I needed instead of a concussion."

"Is that all? No other pranks?" Sasuke had always wondered what Naruto had gotten up to wearing his face.

"I… hadn't really thought that far ahead. Heh heh." That grin. In a way, Sasuke had kind of missed it. He smiled in return.

"In that case, go for it. I won't stop you." He raised his arms in a shrug.

"Uh. What? Just like that?"

"Just like that. You think I would turn down an opportunity for those useless fangirls to chase someone else for a while? If I stay out of sight, I might even get to eat lunch in peace, for once." Sasuke turned and began walking down the hall again, leaving Naruto with an offhanded wave. "Have fun, dobe."

Naruto's expression had turned incredulous. He probably couldn't beleive this turn of events. Sasuke waited for him to get his wits together, perform the Henge no Jutsu, and jump through the classroom window before turning around to follow. He put his hands in the seal to do a Henge of his own, but noticed a small detail before going through the classroom Naruto had exited through. 'Huh. weren't there two plants in that corner before? Oh, duh.' At least Sasuke had his answer for how an idiot dressed as if competing with the sun for visibility got the drop on him.

Sasuke switched appearances a few times as he made his way towards the park where he knew Naruto would be having his encounter with Sakura. Nobody was really trying to follow him, but the chances of someone seeing the real him before he got the information he wanted was more than zero, so he kept at it.

He settled on a form based on one of the elderly members of his clan that had been nice to him as a child, leaned against a nearby tree and witnessed Sakura crush what was left of the dobe's self esteem. 'Damn. That was just unnecessary.' He watched as 'he' proceeded to grab his stomach and abruptly bail. 'Bad milk? That's why he left? Man. No wonder Naruto's luck gets so good later. It's like Karma has spent the last 12 years beating the crap out of him.' Curiosity satisfied, Sasuke began to make his way back to the academy. Witnessing Sakura's blatant disregard for a teammate added a few things to the list of changes Sasuke would have to make, and soon. He had to hand it to Naruto though. Up until his stomach had rebelled, that henge had been top notch stuff. `Naruto is a lot more observant than people give him credit for.`

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Back in the classroom, after the other teams had been picked up by their Jounin instructors, Sasuke closed his eyes and lost himself in thought. This was the first moment of quiet he'd gotten since he'd used the Mugen Izanagi. 'Okay, somehow I'm not blind. Not quite sure how that happened, but I could chalk it up to the fact that I wasn't using the eye I was born with, or just the fact that time travel isn't exactly something that's commonly researched. I'm stuck in my old body, which means only my mind or spirit came back in time. Makes sense, those transformations actually took enough chakra for me to feel the drain. I'm gonna have to train up all over again. And speaking of training…' Sasuke opened his eyes. Naruto was starting to get bored, and a bored Naruto pulled pranks. Sakura was… drawing a picture of him? Sasuke felt a pang of lament in his heart, wishing the older Sakura were here. He knew it wouldn't be the last time, but maybe he could get something moving now? He'd have to be careful with his wording. The goal was to speed up the transformation of Sakura into an elite ninja, not crush her soul.

"I wish you wouldn't do such useless things, Sakura." The pink haired kunoichi froze like she was a toddler with her hand stuck in a cookie jar. "Is this what you do in your own time instead of training? No wonder you're so weak." The first phrase had gotten the curiosity of his teammates, but the rest had been to get their attention.

"What? The only weak person here is Naruto-baka! And maybe Ino, since she wasn't good enough to be on a team with you. True love will prevail!" Sasuke had to fight to keep from showing just how ill Sakura's words were making him. Naruto looked like he was about to start ranting about how he was going to be Hokage again or something after being called weak, but Sasuke cut him off.

"Are you sure about that? Do you honestly believe you're stronger than Naruto? Can you tell me, right here, right now, with one hundred percent certainty, that you could beat him in a straight up fight?" Both of his teammates were flabbergasted. Sakura, because the object of her affections was calling her out in no uncertain terms. Naruto, because Sasuke had just admitted that Naruto could be considered strong, even if it was in the most ass way possible.

"What are you talking about Sasuke? I beat him up every time he asks me on a date. You've seen it!"

"What I've seen is a kid who'd rather suffer brain damage than hurt the girl he's had a crush on for years. Do you honestly expect me to believe that there's any other explanation for those beat downs other than him just refusing to block?"

Sakura refused to give up. "He's the dead-last of the class, though. Not like you. You're the rookie of the year!"

"And that didn't stop Naruto from nearly getting the drop on me earlier. If circumstances had been slightly different," Sasuke had to pause a moment here. His next words required that he set aside his pride for a moment, but years of habit prevented him from clenching his teeth while talking anyway. "... he probably would've won that fight."

The Uchiha genius ignored Naruto's petulant "How did you know, anyway?" and focused on the pinkette. He could almost see her hopes and dreams shatter in front of him. But he wasn't quite done beating her down with the figurative stick.

"Face it, Sakura. I'm the last of the Uchiha, with all the responsibility that goes with it. Even if I did want a girlfriend right now, which I don't, none of the kunoichi I know are qualified..." Sasuke waited for her eyes to glisten with tears. 'Now for the carrot.' "... yet." There it was. Despair instantly replaced with determination. She was still obsessed with him, that wasn't going to change overnight. But at least now there was a chance she'd channel that obsession in useful ways. He turned his gaze to Naruto, noting that his expression had gone very neutral. He'd have to tread carefully here too. After Sakura's words outside earlier, Naruto had to know he had no chances of a romantic relationship with Sakura. "Dobe?"

"Why?" In a way it was probably a good thing nobody else was in the room. Normally Sasuke avoided talking as much as possible, and he'd essentially just ranted at Sakura. Conversely, Naruto had gone very taciturn, with a piercing stare that he hadn't seen in his friend since their fight at the Valley of the End. This particular classroom had become some kind of mirror universe.

"Because we're a team, right? We have to be able to work together. Notice those last two words. 'Work', and 'together'. If we're stuck with each other, I'd rather have a team I can trust to watch my back, and I'm sure you would too. But we can't trust each other if we're not honest with each other, can we?" Sasuke ended his little speech there, deciding not to tempt fate further after that last little bit of irony. Instead he let the silence sink in again. For the 15 seconds it lasted anyway.

"Neh, where's our Jounin sensei anyway? He's late!" Sakura turned to the clock on the wall. "He should have been here thirty minutes ago. Naruto-b…" she checked her words. After Sasuke had said his piece, she felt like being civil towards her teammate was the least she could do at the moment. "Naruto, what are you doing?"

"Hehe. I'm seeing just how good our instructor is." Naruto had pulled a wastebasket towards the door to the classroom and flipped it upside down so he could stand on it and reach the top of the doorway, where he was jamming an eraser full of chalk-dust so that it would fall on the head of the next poor hapless victim to enter the room. Trap set, he hopped off the trash bin and returned it to it's rightful spot before running back to his seat.

"Baka! A Jounin is an elite of the village! He wouldn't be so witless as to fall for something stupid like…" A slide and a poof interrupted Sakura's words, and all three turned to look at an adult with spiky white hair, a mask covering half his face, his forehead protector covering one eye, and chalk dust all over his head. The man gave a deadpan stare at the three children. The one in orange was laughing so hard he'd fallen out of his chair, the one with pink hair was trying to force the world to make sense again, and the third kid was sitting there with a look in his eyes as if he were daring his instructor to do something.

"Hmm. My first impression of you is… you might not be entirely useless. Meet me on the roof."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at that. He distinctly remembered Kakashi's first words to them in the old timeline, and the change meant that Kakashi had probably heard some or all of what Sasuke said. 'Damn. I'd assumed he was at the memorial stone, and didn't bother trying to sense him.' He'd have to be a bit more wary around the Jounin for now, but in the meantime, the demeanor of his team as they exited the class was a stark contrast from the old timeline. There was a resolve there this time, buried under the curiosity and nerves of his teammates. The seeds had been planted. Now all Sasuke had to do was help them grow.

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 _(A/N - Yay! Chapter 1 is... done? Remember, first drafts! I'm pretty much writing this as a stream of thought style... based mostly on what I remember of the source material for character references and such. Reviews and corrections are welcome! I hope you're having as much fun reading as I am writing!)_


	3. Chapter 2 - Who's Testing Whom?

_(Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! Also, yay for Nanowrimo!)_

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Sasuke noticed something new as team seven took their seats in the roof. This time, somehow he'd ended up between his teammates. He wasn't to make of it, since he was certain it hadn't been a conscious choice on the parts of his fellow genin. Sasuke put it out of his mind. If it was more than just a minor thing, then he'd deal with it later. He definitely had higher priorities at the moment, if their sensei scrutinizing every aspect of the team was any indication. He wasn't being subtle about it either. Which meant either that the elite shinobi didn't care, or that the test had already begun. Sasuke knew where he'd lay odds. Eventually Kakashi decided to break the silence.

"Hmm. Well, I suppose to start with, we should get to know each other." That made Naruto squint in a bit of confusion.

"Neh, how do you mean?"

"Well, i guess we could begin by saying our likes and hobbies, our dislikes, and our dreams of the future. I'll start. My name is Hatake Kakashi. I like a few things, and I have a few hobbies. My dislikes… hmm. And my dreams are my own business. You next pumpkin-kid." The fact that he had essentially said nothing about himself got an angry reaction out of the team, but being called a pumpkin was overkill to Naruto.

"Oy! Don't disrespect the orange! For your information my name is Uzumaki Naruto. My likes include ramen and training. My dislikes include the three minutes it takes to make instant ramen, and people who mock the best color in the world. And my dream is to be the best Hokage the world has ever known, dattebayo!" He stood as he said the last bit with his fist in the air. Sakura made a move as if to slap Naruto in the back of the head, with Sasuke in between her and her target, she thought better of it and instead rubbed her temples like she had a headache.

"Baka, you should focus on more realistic goals." This got Naruto to turn his grin towards Sakura.

"I am being realistic. I've already beaten Hokage-jiji in a fight once after all. Me having that awesome hat is only a matter of time, dattebayo!"

What. Sasuke hadn't gone far enough back to make changes like that, which meant whatever happened had happened in both timelines. Sasuke wasn't the only one looking incredulously at the dobe, and he doubted he was the only one that could read Naruto's body language. The idiot couldn't lie to save his own life, and he was showing none of his hundreds of tells, which meant he was telling the truth. Sakura gave voice to everyone's curiosity.

"How did you beat the Hokage?"

Naruto was surprised, and lowered his hand to rub the back of his neck. "Hehe… classified?" There were the tells. Almost all of them, in fact. Sasuke would get the real story later.

Kakashi waved at the the dobe dismissively. "Mah, whether he did or didn't, whatever. Your turn, pinky."

Sakura stood up straight. "My name is Haruno Sakura. My likes…" she couldn't help but glance at Sasuke and blush, getting a reaction of disgust out of Naruto. "My dislikes are Naruto, and…" she glanced at Sasuke again, "and being weak. My dream… my dream is to become a legendary kunoichi." Sasuke fought the urge to look back at Sakura, but in his head he was gleefully cheering for the death of a fangirl, and the birth of the Sakura he knew and respected.

"And you, emo king?" Kakashi hid it well behind the veneer of boredom, but Sasuke knew he was being evaluated here. Not that he could blame the Jounin, given what happened to his clan. Well, Sasuke was never one to turn down a challenge if he could help it.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I like tomatoes, and getting stronger." No surprises there. "I dislike fangirls, people who suck up to me because of my name," he gave a challenging look to Kakashi, "and instructors who are late." The jounin narrowed his own eye at the uppity Genin. "My dreams, well, I have a goal. My aim is to surpass all the Uchiha who came before me."

Sasuke hadn't raised his voice, but even if he'd yelled like Naruto the reaction would have been the same. There was a tension in the air as if Sasuke had just challenged reality itself to a fight. ' _If only they knew.'_

Kakashi didn't let the silence last too long. "Okay! Now that that's over with, we can finally move on to the test." Sakura, having started the habit of being the one with all the questions, spoke up.

"What test? We're already Genin, right?" Kakashi silenced her with a deadpan expression.

"No, what you are is the academy's best effort to convince me that it wouldn't be a total waste of my time to train a bunch of snot-nosed brats for the foreseeable future. But now I'm the one making the rule, and I say that I don't feel like you're worthy of my time. But, just so the Hokage doesn't get mad at me, I'll give you all a chance. I'm willing to take one of you. An apprentice, so to speak. You three can decide between you somehow, I don't care. Only one of you will get the opportunity to learn from me." Kakashi shrugged. "The other two will be sent back to the academy. Or you can quit the shinobi program altogether. It doesn't matter to me, in the end."

Sasuke's mind raced. What happened to the bell test? He knew how to handle that. Crap. Now he'd have to improvise. "How long do we have to make our decision?" Kakashi made a show of looking thoughtful.

"Hmm. Genin are slow, and you're all children, so you're even slower. Even so, an hour should be enough time, don't you think? I'll be back in an hour to learn your decision" Kakashi smiled at his dumbfounded team, pulled a book with an orange cover out of his pocket, and proceeded to walk towards the edge of the roof while reading it. "Later!" He stepped over the edge of the roof, and when Naruto and Sakura ran to see him, he'd vanished.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Hatake Kakashi was not having the day he'd anticipated when he woke up this morning. The three dossiers he'd reviewed before meeting his team had indicated that the Uchiha kid was a brooding avenger, the Haruno girl was a petulant fangirl, and that his sensei's son was a walking liability. Instead, he'd heard Sasuke's words trying to turn his classmates into something resembling an actual team, the fangirl was willing to be something besides useless, and apparently Naruto had gotten one over on the Hokage? Worst of all, Kakashi knew that if he'd given the bell test, the kids would have seen through the ruse in an instant given their current mental state. Sasuke had essentially ruined his tried and true method of crushing the dreams of children before he'd even had a chance to do so. But Kakashi wasn't an Elite for no reason. He'd prepared contingencies for something like this, even as he'd thought he'd never need to use them. He had an hour to kill, and decided he'd catch up on some reading while he waited at the base of a tree, giggling to himself as he got to the good bits.

When an hour had passed, he returned to the academy, somewhat surprised to find Sasuke guiding Sakura and Naruto through an academy taijutsu kata. They were all facing each other, and it seemed like they were comparing notes. Sasuke looked like he was just going through the motions slowly, Sakura was apparently using dynamic tension in her muscles to increase the inherent resistance in her movements, and Naruto was using the slowed speed to correct stances and poses he should have learned ages ago.

Kakashi was genuinely surprised. None of them showed any evidence of confrontation. He'd expected there to be at least a little fight. "Mou, I guess I didn't make myself clear. Or do all three of you want to go back to the Academy?"

The three students halted in their exercises, and turned to face the Jounin, "Oh, us all being here is just a formality. We've decided to go to the Hokage and request a different sensei. One worthy of our time. I'd say it was good meeting you Kakashi-san, but then, I'm not a liar."

...What? Kakashi had been a ninja for decades. He'd fought, killed, and bled more than most active shinobi ever would. And yet he'd never, in all his years, encountered arrogance on the level the last Uchiha was displaying. Moreover, his words had apparently been expected by the other two, which meant they'd already discussed this amongst themselves. This was further evidenced by the fact that all three had turned to walk away in the general direction of the Hokage tower.

Nonetheless, he was the ranking soldier here, and he needed to regain control of the situation. "Would you care to run that by me again? You almost made it sound like you could convince the Hokage that you knew better than a high ranking ninja such as myself. Do you really think you could convince him that you're anything more than mere children whining about how unfair it is that I'm the one testing you?"

The team slowed to a halt, and Naruto turned to face him. "We've got proof on our side though. I mean, the very first moment we saw you, you fell for my trap with the eraser. Are you sure you're an elite? Maybe you're just an impostor or something. Hokage-jiji would want to know in any case."

Oh that cheeky bastard. Kakashi had let the eraser hit him as a means to make the kids underestimate him, but this was too much. Sakura added her own two cents before he could reply though.

"We could test him and find out, though. I mean, if he really is that weak, then we'd know for sure. And if not, then maybe he might be worthy to teach us after all." Thoughtful expressions crossed the faces of her teammates. Kakashi would have smiled if the situation was different. In his mind, they'd already passed with flying colors. He knew the game for what it was, and decided to play along.

"And what exactly would this little test entail? Hmm?" Kakashi stood from his spot under the tree, book safely back in his pocket. Both Sakura and Naruto turned to Sasuke. It was his turn next, hmm?

"Oh, there's only one rule." Kakashi noticed the intent looks on the faces of the Genin, and subtly tensed his muscles. All reason for subtlety was lost when Sasuke put his hands together in a seal for a technique he thought genin shouldn't be ready for yet. "Don't die. Goukakyuu no Jutsu!"

Sasuke's aim had been slightly off, and Kakashi gave better than even odds that it had been on purpose. They wanted him to go a specific direction. Curious to see what was next, he jumped towards the tree line, only to realize he'd have to jump again as he saw the sun glint off of several wires. He wasn't disappointed to see Sakura hidden in the trees, pulling a wire a certain way and triggering an unholy amount of traps all meant to take his head off from every direction. Every direction but one that is. They wanted him deeper in wooded area. Okay, as far as plans went, this wasn't a bad one for genin. Maneuver him into the trees to hinder visibility and mobility, levelling the playing field a bit, and then drop the hammer on him. If he was correct, Naruto would be playing the next bit.

Not one to disappoint, Naruto, or rather, thirty Naruto's lunged from underground at him as he landed in the woods. Kakashi smirked, thinking it was time to fight back, until Naruto put his hands together in a certain seal. "You lose Kakashi-sensei! HENGE!" There was a massive cloud of smoke, and when it cleared, Kakashi was surrounded by… thirty identical naked blonde women. "Harem no Jutsu!" The 'women' then all latched onto the jounin with super girly cries of "Kakashi-sama!", and Kakashi lasted less than two seconds before his nose acted like a bloody rocket, launching him backwards into a tree hard enough to… make him burst in a puff of smoke?

Naruto was at a loss as to what happened, and dispelled the technique and his clones to better figure out what had happened. Not that he would, as Sakura came flying at him with a scream of "BAAAAKAAAAA!" and delivered a punch to his head strong enough to put him through a tree.

"What the hell, Naruto! That wasn't in the plan! I told you never to use that… technique… in front of me again!" Naruto raised his arms to defend himself from further beatings.

"You told me to use the technique I used to beat the Hokage, so I did!" His words forestalled further violence, as Sakura froze to process what she'd just learned. Sasuke too, had paused for a moment in his walk into the clearing. Naruto's words were too ridiculous to be anything but true, which could only mean one thing. The Hokage, leader of the strongest of the great five shinobi villages, was a pervert. Naruto took no notice of their reaction, since his arms were still in front of his face to defend against any additional violence. "It worked too! You saw what happened to ero-sensei! I didn't think it would actually kill him or anything."

Kakashi chose that moment to enter the clearing. Skilled eyes might have noticed that the mask he was wearing now was a bit cleaner than the one he was wearing at the beginning of the fight. "It didn't kill me. What you saw was a Kage Bunshin. Did you think you were the only one who knew that technique?"

All three genin turned towards Kakashi, taking fighting stances. "Mou, none of that. I've seen everything I need to see."

Naruto looked confused. "What?"

"I've decided you all pass. The goal was to see if I could get you to turn on one another. In my years of being a Jounin, I've never seen a team that would stick together like you guys did. To disobey orders makes a person trash. But to abandon your comrades makes you worse than trash. Above all else, if you can stick together as a team, there's nothing you can't accomplish." Kakashi gave a small eye smile to his newest students, letting them bask in a moment. At least until Sasuke killed it.

"Good to know. We'll remember that when we're training under whatever Jounin the hokage decides to assign us to." Kakashi raised an eyebrow at that. Naruto looked like he was about to explode in laughter, and Sakura could barely stay in character.

"Well, he did technically pass our test. Maybe we should give him another chance?" Sasuke made a show of looking thoughtful at that for a moment, before sighing and nodding.

"I guess."

Kakashi sighed and shook his head a bit. "Brats. Well since you've so graciously agreed," he voiced with no small amount of sarcasm, "I guess from this point we're officially Team Seven." At this proclamation, Naruto lost all sense of composure, jumping into the air with his fists held high, screaming 'Yatta!' over and over again before both Sakura and Sasuke slapped him in the back of the head. "Meet me at the Hokage tower tomorrow at seven for our first mission." Kakashi gave a small wave to his new team before vanishing in a shunshin.

Sasuke let out a small sigh of relief. Today had been a whirlwind of a day. It was rather odd that a day starting with the climactic battle of the fourth shinobi world war was ending with guiding two pre-teens through their genin exam. And now the day was just about over with the test firmly in the rear view. Just for tonight, Sasuke would let himself rest, and work could begin in earnest tomorrow.

* * *

 **A/N Hooray for Nanowrimo! Sorry I didn't get anything done over the weekend. Between a full time job and a kid at home, the only time I really have to write is on my bus rides, and during my lunch break.**

 **The inspiration for this version of the Genin Test is borrowed in part from Kenchi618's story "Better Left Unsaid". Or at least the Omake version. Notice me sempai!**

 **I can already hear questions about consistency of Naruto's behavior in this chapter, and that'll be addressed next chapter. Don't worry, I've got it covered.**

 **Just as a full disclosure reminder: This is first draft material! I'm basically just writing stuff as it comes into my head, and letting the story write itself in places. I hope that's not too much of a deal breaker for you fine individuals, but even if it was... meh. I'm not writing this for you, I'm writing this for me. Okay, I'm kinda writing this for you since I'm publishing it... but it's still mostly for me.**

 **Until next time folks!**


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